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What does a duet from a popular Broadway musical have to do with my journey from self-loathing to self-love? Watch my latest video below to find out!
There is a deficiency of self-love happening in the world today. And the problem is growing! There was a time when I hated myself. Some serious self-loathing was going on! I hated pretty much everything about myself, except for my singing ability. But even that wasn’t good enough in my eyes, because I made mistakes, so I wasn’t perfect.
But boy did I strive for perfection! I thought I had to be the perfect person in order to be worthy of having good things in my life! But the more I tried to be perfect, the more miserable I was. And the more my life seemingly fell apart.
So how did I begin to let go of the self-loathing and move towards loving myself?
Self-awareness is the key
You can’t begin to change anything in your life until you become aware of the thoughts, beliefs, mindsets, habits and patterns that are keeping you stuck.
Most people however are allowing these things to run on autopilot…and then keep wondering why they feel so crappy about themselves and why things never get better. Many look for solutions externally. They believe that buying something new, having a new relationship, job, car, dream house, etc., will make them feel better.
But the real changes occur from within…not from external sources! You must become self-aware of the negative things happening internally so that you can begin to identify those things that aren’t working for you and begin to change them! But there’s one key difference that can help you to begin moving towards self-love. You need to view those things without judgment!
I was very aware of many of the negative thoughts, mindset and other internal things that were holding me back. But I observed them with a whole lot of judgement. And that did nothing but increase my shame!
Questions to ask yourself
When one of these negative things came up for me, instead of allowing myself to react with self-loathing and shame, I began asking myself some questions about it.
- How does this really make me feel? (Sometimes you may be reacting to something in a way that others expect you to react, but not the way you actually feel about it!)
- Do I want to continue feeling this way?
- Is my reaction serving my highest good?
- Do I want to feel better than this?
- Am I willing to let this go and release this energy?
It will take some time to begin breaking down the negative thoughts and beliefs, but I speak from experience when I say that doing the work is worth it!